im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
