awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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