my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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