I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
