my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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