Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
