Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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