I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
