well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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