AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
