forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
