who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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