is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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