bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
