I smell stomach acid.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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