I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
