I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
