Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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