I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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