what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
