she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
