some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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