so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You may now shotgun with the bride
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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