Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
