At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
