He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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