I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
