Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
