if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
