But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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