i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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