a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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