Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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