So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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