just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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