I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
