Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
