I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
