big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
