i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
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It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
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Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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