Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
