I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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