dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
