im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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