this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
