If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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