I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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