i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
