is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
