Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
