if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
My penis needs a shock collar
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
