So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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