Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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