my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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