I'd wear matching sweaters with you
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
