Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
