You just made me feel so damn special
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
