Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
