I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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