Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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