But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
