I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
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